Hello there! So, I turned 26 this year and I would like to share the things I’ve learned in my 26 years of living.
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1. You can’t make a person change
I’ve had people in my life were loving them hurts but losing them hurts too. So, I would think how can I change them but as years go by I realized you can’t make people change. You can inspire and encourage them to change. You can only educate and support them towards change.
For a person to change, they must feel that change is theirs. Not forced or controlled. We don’t get to decide what’s right and better for our partners, friends, and families. It is their own choice.
2. You can’t force friendship on someone
There are two kinds of friends in life, the kind that when you go away for a long time and come back, it feels like nothing has changed. And the kind that when you go away and come back, it feels like everything has changed. Before coming to Japan, I thought I had a lot of friends. I loved going out and hanging out with people. I couldn’t stand staying at home on the weekends but when I came to work in Japan and came back after a year and a half, many of the people I was close to didn’t even bother to call or show up. The unexpected people turned out they are the ones who truly cared. From that time on, I realized when someone decides you aren’t their priority anymore, don’t force yourself to them. I knew back then who to keep and treasure as a friend.
3. Follow and listen to inspiring people
Watch inspiring videos on youtube. Watch inspiring movies and listen to inspiring podcasts. Read inspiring articles and books. It will change your perspectives in life and will help you keep your motivation high. Here’s a list of people I follow and learn things and get inspiration from.
4. Choose courage over comfort
I know we resist discomfort in our lives but I leave you this “the only way to grow is to step out of our comfort zones”. Learn new things, discover, and explore. Learn a new hobby, read new books, acquire new skills, and visit places you’ve never been to before.
Fear will always be with us
You might say, I want to explore but it’s a scary world out there. It is natural to fear the unknown, fear the uncertainties, and fear of risks but I would say fear will always be there. You can’t make it disappear so my advice is to acknowledge fear. Know that it will always be with you but don’t let it drive or consume you. You are the driver of your journey and let the fear stay in the backseat.
Big magic taught me to conquer my fears. I can’t recommend this book enough.
5. Struggles make you stronger
Imagine if we get what we want every time, no struggles, no hard work, no challenges. We might say that would be great but we would be weak and then if something hard comes up in our lives, we wouldn’t know how to handle it. We cannot grow without struggles. We cannot develop strength without resistance either. Without challenges, our life would be meaningless.
If things are not going right, stay a little longer, a month longer, a year longer. When you are tired with what you are doing, when you are losing motivation, always go back to your reason why you started.
6. Start your day with gratitude and end your day with gratitude
In times you get tired, dread things, or not looking forward to doing things, start with gratitude and appreciation. It changes our mindsets. I keep a gratitude journal with me. I always go back to it when I lose my track.
We are given this life to live it, to drive through it. Go out there and learn more life lessons. What are your life lessons? Post them in the comment section. Inspire others with what you’ve learned.