We live in a digital world right now and it’s so easy to compare yourselves with others. As humans, we are wired with comparisons but the good news is you can learn how to stop comparing yourself with others.

You might see your friends getting married, and having a stable and high-paying jobs or you see your classmate in university living a good life in another country. You look at their social media full of glamour then you start feeling bad about yourself. You start thinking and wishing that you have the same lifestyle.

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The thing is we have different paths and journeys to take. We have different values in life, different perspectives, and different pages. We have different dreams. Some people want to settle in their own country and have a happy family. Some are bolder, they quit their jobs and find their chances in another country. Some want to focus on their career, self-growth, or building their own business.

If you see someone rich and living a comfortable life, they earn their money over time. If you see someone skilled in something or progressing in their career, they earned it over time and with their own effort. If you see someone traveling around the world, they earned it over time. They take their own path, have their own dream, and chase them.

I say choose your path and take your own values, principle, and dreams with you. Do not fall into the trap of comparison or else you can’t move on with your life. It is never a competition, but rather a community.

How to stop comparing yourself with others: 5 Tips and Tricks

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1. Self-love is the best way to kill comparisons to others

Love yourself enough that you don’t need to look at other people’s success and feel bad about yourself. Do not use other people’s metrics or society’s to measure your life worth. Use your own metric to measure success. Fall in love with yourself. You deserve much more love and that love comes from you.

2. Being grateful for what you have kills comparisons

Practice gratitude every day. List down the things you are grateful for. What convenience did you have for the day? What acts of kindness did you receive. Who are you grateful to have and have met for the day? Count your wins and express gratitude. It makes comparisons to other people harder.

3. Journaling boosts self-love

Journal your thoughts. Capture every thought and emotion that comes in. Write them down on an external page, digital, or on paper, I personally use physical paper. I love these journals from promptly Journals.

Process your thoughts and learn to stay, and sit with those feelings. When you process these emotions, you have the opportunity to decrease how much they weigh on you. Tune in to these feelings and avoid labeling them as good or bad, right or wrong.

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4. Make your “I am enough” list

Write a list of times when you feel good about yourself and you feel enough. These are times when you feel confident, courageous, loved, and enough. You will need this list every time you feel bad about yourself.

Visit your list from time to time and be reminded how amazing and awesome you are. Hold onto the list, and keep adding more positive moments to it. I’m pretty sure you will have a long list.

5. Make a list of the things you love about yourself

Similar to making an “I am enough list”, listing all the things you love about yourself is a great boost of self-confidence. I love this activity because it not only stops me from comparing myself to others but it also serves as a self-reflection to me.

Making a list does not stop though, visit your list again and again to remind yourself. Include it in your vision board or put it on the doors or fridge so you can see it every day.



  1. Jennifer Prince

    February 7, 2022 at 1:54 PM

    Ug. The comparison trap is so bad! We usually compare our weaknesses to their strengths.

    1. Ali

      February 8, 2022 at 12:16 PM

      true. we should only compare ourselves to ours from yesterday and not to others

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