How to Handle Disagreements in a Relationship

While being in a relationship provides you happiness and satisfaction, it comes with the lows. Disagreements for some reasons are inevitable. They even happen when we least expect them. 

Disagreements can be quite frustrating and it sometimes leads to a breakup. To prevent that from happening, here are some tips to handle disagreements in a relationship.

1. Take a deep breath and calm yourself

Take note of the red flags. When you feel like you are about to fly off the handle, take a step back and breathe. Count from one to four and do your best to calm yourself.

The more you give in to your anger, the worse it becomes. Some couples end up at each other’s throats because of succumbing to anger. To avoid saying things you might later regret, handle disagreements in a relationship by calming yourself first. 

2. Be honest and straightforward but sensitive

You might have instances when you hesitate to come forward and express what’s bothering you. You are reluctant for fear of offending your partner or being insensitive. 

For you to not sound condescending or arrogant, you have to do it in a subtle way. Make sure you are calm and relaxed before confronting your partner. Tone down your voice and be as empathetic as possible.

3. Pay attention and listen to your partner

One of the reasons disagreements arise is that there is a lack of listening skills for either of the parties. It is exasperating to see that your partner does not seem to pay attention. This could really escalate the brewing disagreement.

Thus, before it gets worse, learn to handle disagreements in your relationship by being all ears to your partner. Be an active listener and if you are not used to this, then it is high time you do.

4. Get to the crux of the problem

Sometimes, if you delay the inevitable, you might make it worse. Therefore, once you notice that something is wrong or the atmosphere screams with tension, be brave enough to get to the bottom of it.

Do not assume that nothing is wrong or that it is going to be alright. Invite your partner to sit with you and talk. Identify what went wrong, and what the problem was. Then, focus on resolving it. It’s better to nip something in the bud than let it grow.

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5. Encourage Open Communication

Open communication should be normalized. This is something everybody has to learn and encourage. Some people would fall into the trap of avoiding conflicts. 

That is not healthy at all. Because even if you want to disagree with your partner on certain things, you cannot. You don’t want to risk annoying him. But that shouldn’t be the case.

You have to encourage each other to be open and expressive. For you to grow emotionally, you have to learn how to vent out or express your emotions.

6. Don’t go to bed without settling disagreements

Brushing disagreements under the rug is highly discouraged. This is something you have to forget to do. I know it is easier said than done. 

But if you keep brushing things aside, it piles up until it becomes explosive. That is even worse.

To handle disagreements in a relationship, be the bigger person and approach your partner. Perhaps, you can do this by acknowledging your mistake, raising your voice, or being callous at the moment.

7. Do your best to see things in the eyes of your partner 

We see things differently. The way you have interpreted the situation might be different from your partner. This could sometimes cause the disagreement to get worse.

Avoid that by empathizing. You have heard of this advice that as much as possible, you put yourself in the shoes of others. You can do the same thing to your partner. 

You cannot possibly understand where your partner is coming from without imagining yourself in his position.

8. Practice acceptance

This means you recognize your feelings. That you are offended, irritated, embarrassed, or mad. You have to be honest with what you feel and be accepting of your partner’s feelings as well.

Handling disagreements in a relationship requires the courage to accept reality – to be true and open to each other. To be more comfortable with your own flaws and to be more understanding of your partner’s. 

9. Work on forgiveness

When emotions are high, no one wants to go back down. The walls have been up for your defenses and emotional protection. In a relationship, you have to learn to be more forgiving.

Forgiveness is certainly a process – something that takes time to be built. Since nothing is built on stone, you can always work on this as you navigate your relationship.

10. Respect your partner and be humble

Not respecting your partner’s wishes often sparks arguments. Not giving him his personal space encourages resentment. To handle disagreements in a relationship, you have to observe respect.

Allow your partner to vent out his thoughts or express himself first. Do not cut in no matter how much you want to. When you actually listen and put your partner’s concerns first once in a  while, you would understand him and he would definitely appreciate you for that.

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11. Accept your shortcomings and be authentic

Admitting and accepting our shortcomings is like swallowing a bitter pill. However, no one is perfect. We all have our underlying flaws and faults. But that does not mean you don’t have the capacity to change.

Handling disagreements in a relationship requires acceptance of one’s shortcomings. Once you do, you will be able to make room for improvements and work on to better yourself.

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How do you handle disagreements in a relationship?

In a relationship, it really takes two to tango. The pair of you must cooperate and work on resolving entanglements. Always aim to mend what went wrong and not avoid it. 

One must give way for the relationship to grow and flourish. One must be humble but not to a fault. What really matters in handling disagreements in a  relationship is the willingness of a couple to discuss and come to an agreement.