Photo by Josh Willink
Dating in your 30s can be a delicate balancing act. On the one hand, you’re more mature and confident than at 20 or even at 25. You know what you want from a partner and are less willing to compromise on the little things. But on the other hand, as an older millennial, you probably have different priorities than a peer who’s fresh out of college.
For example, your job and career likely take up more of your time and mental energy than when you were younger. This can make meeting people significantly more challenging, let alone finding someone worth dating. But with the right attitude and strategies, it doesn’t have to be impossible. Here are 5 dating tips for single women to help you out.
This is a contributed post
1. Know what you want
Are you looking for a casual fling or something serious? Do you want kids? How important is religion or race to you? Knowing what you want from the get-go can help you focus your efforts and avoid wasting time on people who don’t fit into your life plan.
After all, a relationship is a two-way street. If your goals don’t line up, it will be a bumpy ride. This is when finding speed dating over 30 events can be helpful. Getting into the dating field can be tricky as you get older, but organized events such as speed dating can help you identify what you do want, what you don’t want, and what you are willing to compromise on.
ALSO READ: How Successful Women Overcome Dating Anxiety
2. Don’t rush things
You’re probably eager to find a boyfriend after being single for a while, but don’t rush things. You may be tempted to lower your standards to find someone faster, but that’s a bad idea. It’s far better to keep looking for the right person than to rush into a relationship with the wrong one.
If you rush things, your relationship is almost guaranteed to fail. You don’t know each other well enough to understand each other or learn how to resolve conflicts truly. You haven’t had enough time to cultivate trust and genuine intimacy. Instead of rushing things, take your time, get to know yourself and your options better, and don’t settle for someone who isn’t right for you just because you’re eager to be in a relationship.
3. Let go of negative experiences from your past.
You may have had some bad experiences with dating in your 20s. If so, it’s time to let go of those painful memories. You don’t want to let one bad apple spoil the bunch. Dating in your 30s is nothing like dating in your 20s. You’re likely more mature and know what you want from a relationship.
You also have more life experience and confidence, making you a better judge of character. You know who you are and what you bring to the table. You’re not as worried about being liked by others and can better avoid manipulation and staying in unhealthy relationships.
After all, dating is supposed to be fun. If you’re still harping on past mistakes and bad experiences from the past, you’re not going to be able to move forward and enjoy yourself. Instead of letting negative experiences affect your new dating life, shake them off, make a few tweaks to your approach, and start having fun meeting new people again.
4. Don’t settle for less than you deserve
You deserve to be with someone who respects you, encourages you to be your best self, and is as excited to be in a relationship with you as you are with them. While you shouldn’t settle for less than you deserve, you should also be aware that not every bad relationship is worthy of ending.
Sometimes, you have to work through issues and find ways to make them work. Sometimes, the wrong relationship is worth the effort because it teaches you something about yourself and what you deserve in a relationship.
If you constantly struggle and fight in your relationship, it might be worth seeking professional help. You might be in a toxic relationship and don’t know how to get out. You might be dating a busy man which is tough and challenging. No relationship is perfect, but you should be able to talk through issues and feel heard by your partner.
5. Forget about perfection; find perfect for you.
The perfect partner probably doesn’t exist. Even if they did, you’re unlikely to find them. Instead of searching for a mythical creature, focus on finding someone who is a good fit for you.
Someone who makes you happy and who you can be satisfied with. Someone who challenges you and pushes you to be your best self. Someone who shares your core values and makes you excited about life. Someone who loves and accepts you for who you are.
If you find someone like that, don’t walk away just because they’re not perfect. Applying a standard of perfection to your love life is a surefire way to end up single. Besides, perfection is overrated.
Angela Ricardo Bethea says
Thanks for sharing this informative post, those are some great tips and will keep them in mind. It’s hard to find a partner these days with so many things that you need to look out for.
Ntensibe Edgar says
Yyyeeesssss! Somebody has said it so well for me….”Don’t rush things”! Many of us make this mistake and end up not even enjoying the beautiful moments we have before us.
I agree with you that we should never rush things. The right person will come at the right time. I met my husband during my late 20s and was a bit pressured that I am getting old. Despite the pressure, I took my time to heal before jumping to another relationship in that way I was sure I was really over my ex. Now, I am happily married for almost 10 years. 🙂
thanks for the great list of dating advice. finding “the one” is harder nowadays due to so many factors. But I think, your list is not just applicable for women in their 30s but for all ages especially the last one.