A happy relationship starts with a good dating experience. For this reason, most women rely on dating apps to have a great head start in dating. Yet, even successful women end up frustrated right after their first date.
What could have possibly gone wrong?
Dating coach and love expert Evan Marc Katz reveal that some dating tips can ruin your chance to find love. Unawareness of this fact will be your love life’s downfall.
So here are some popular but questionable relationship coaching advice you should avoid to find lasting love.
Myth #1: Unconditional Love Happens When You Least Expect It
Talking about cliches, holding on to this saying will not help a successful woman find true love.
Stop with the, “But my friend experienced it,” thinking because it’s not necessarily right. Yes, it might be the case for someone you know. But will it be the same for you?
What works for another person might not work for you. Every person’s experience of love differs, so one’s success story has little to do with yours.
Besides that, dating coach Evan Marc Katz believes dating once a week does not make you desperate. The truth is, dating is better than waiting for love to come to your doorstep.
Remember, good relationships are not the result of a whirlwind romance. So, if you want love to find you, make an effort to go to dating sites and search for love.
Myth #2: You Need to Feel Sparks and Butterflies in Your Love Life
You might have heard someone saying, “I know it is Mr. Right when there are butterflies in my stomach.” Or sometimes, they keep on looking for a spark.
Sure, it is a wonderful feeling. But in real life, these are merely signs of physical attraction.
If a guy makes you feel the chemistry, it’s not a guarantee of a lasting relationship. So, you cannot hold on to a feeling as an indicator that a relationship is right.
Myth #3: Give Everyone a Chance
There’s nothing wrong with matchmaking. Some of your friends might set you up with someone and ask you to give them a chance.
But this might lead you to think that you have to “like” whoever your friends set you up with.
Remember that even when there’s some matchmaking involved, there’s no guarantee that you will fall in love. You should not feel obliged to return someone’s feelings just because he’s a nice guy.
If someone does not interest you, it might be kinder to tell them “no.” After all, it would be mean to give someone hope and then crush it.
Myth #4: Play Hard to Get
One too many blogs advise single women to play hard-to-get. Meaning, that regardless if you like the guy, you must act uninterested—all in the hopes of making them crave your attention.
But if you do it, does it guarantee the attention of the one guy you like? No.
There’s a fine line between playing hard to get and sending the message that you do not like someone. As per the Love U coach’s stance, men are unlikely to pursue a woman out of their league.
Be straightforward. Try to look interested, but do not appear desperate. Send messages that imply, “I am picky, but you caught my interest.”
Either way, show your interest if you want a second date.
Myth #5: Opposites Attract
Some people find it interesting to spend time with people as different from them as possible.
People with opposing qualities may attract each other because of their differences. But as the relationship goes on, these wrong qualities for each other may create problems. A couple’s relationship may end up having more conflicts than similarities.
For example, a cautious person may become irritated with a reckless partner. An emotional person might feel like they are dating a robot when they date a rational man.
Yes, opposites may attract. Yet, people often select those most like themselves in the long run.
Myth #6: Be at Your Best Version
This might sound like sound dating advice, but it also implies that you have to hide your flaws. And doing so might be the start of a relationship heading towards disaster.
Because no matter how you try to keep up your facade, your personality will still show.
So, even if your intentions are pure, you should not “be your best self” on a date. Embrace your flaws. Own them.
Do not try and be someone you are not just to hold onto someone because that is not how love works. Good men who genuinely like you will accept you for who you are.
Shilpa Bindlish says
Oh yes! These are great tips about what to do and what not. Specially when it’s so important like dating.
Angela Ricardo Bethea says
Those are some great tips to keep in mind and totally agree with you on that. Some of those are very cliche and only happen in movies (while it does happen in real life once in a blue moon) but it’s not something you can base it on.