Today I will be sharing things I learned about relationships from my favorite author, Mark Manson. He is a great compelling writer. He has transformed my perspectives on certain topics and changed my life in different aspects. He talks about relationships, values, life purpose, and success on his website.
When a relationship is over, leave
Energy, affection, and romance are shown in starting relationships. People put so much effort at first but put less when they get comfortable with each other or when they’ve been together for quite a while. Relationships are great from the beginning until you start arguing, neglecting each other and the romance fades out.
When your fundamental values and beliefs go in different ways and paths. They are the solid rock foundation of your relationship, don’t stay when you know they are shattered.
When the relationship holds you back, not allowing you to do your own things and grow. When the relationship is preventing you to grow and be yourself, when you both stop growing as individuals, that’s when you know you have to leave.
When you keep reliving the same memories over and over from your past and stopped creating new ones. People change, things change, when the person is not in there, you have to move on. You gotta make new memories together, explore together, learn new things, and don’t leave the other behind. Don’t stay in a relationship because of pity or nostalgia.
Don’t continue watering a dead flower. You should know when to leave a relationship.
Lastly, when the other person in a relationship makes the same mistakes over and over. If you do the same mistake again, then it’s not a mistake anymore. Letting go is coming to the realization that some people are left part of your history than try to drag them into your future.
Honesty will save your relationship
One of my values in life is honesty. I believe it is very important to keep the relationship going. Honesty is more important than feeling good all the time. I want my partner to be honest with me even if it hurts my ego. I know honest opinions bruises our egos, hurts our feelings and sometimes lets our confidence down but it’s what we need in a relationship. It will make us a better person.
The last person you should ever have to censor yourself is with the person you love!
Commit yourself to be honest about your feelings, your thoughts, and your beliefs. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. If something bothers you in a relationship, you must be willing to say it out loud.
Don’t try to change that person
When you are over the first stage of your relationship where it’s romantic, a lot of energy and effort is shown and you become comfortable with each other, you also begin to notice your partner’s flaws and shortcomings. It’s painful to stay with him but you don’t want to leave the relationship either because it hurts. You start wondering what if I can make him or her change. You end up wishing he could be more caring, more passionate, or more affectionate. Well, I will leave you this powerful message and it is worth putting in large and bold letters.
Don’t fall in love with a flower and then try to change its’ scent
You should never expect your partner to change and your partner should never expect you to change either. Changing their very essence and changing their source, who they truly are, and what brings them alive will just ruin the relationship. You can inspire them to change, support them and lead them towards change but you can’t make them change.
Do you have any advice? Leave them on the comment section.
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BEFORE YOU GO
Check these books about relationships. I used to be in a toxic relationship but these books changed the way I see relationships. They improved my relationships and turned a not-so-healthy relationship into one.